If you ask any senior adult the question, “If could live your life over again, what would you do differently?” Most answers will be along the lines of, “Stop and smell the roses.”
Simply put, “I would worry less and enjoy more.”
The biggest irony of life is the thing that hurts us the most is the thing that helps us the most. And that is people. People will hurt you, but people will also help you. Hopefully the balance will lean towards happy, healthy, helpful relationships.
In your relationships with people, here are some ways to worry less and enjoy more, and hopefully hurt less and be happy more:
Enjoy the relationships. Go play with the people you love. Cards, bowling, fishing, video games, sports. Just simply play; no conversations about what to fix, solve, plan, or correct. This may cause you to play at something you’ve never done before. But if you do, you’ll enjoy the relationships more.
Ask for help where you can find it. People who have been there and done that will challenge you to do it better, including parenting. And you will be better for it. Don’t take it personally if someone cannot help you. Keep trusting God and asking around for help. You will find the help you need. God is interested in you being OK.
Stop trying to make bad relationships work. Relationships do take work, especially relationships we are committed to – our family and close friends. But one of the biggest wastes of time is trying have a relationship with someone when the relationship simply does not work. As committed as we are to family and friends, relationships end when there are toxic, abusive, narcissistic interactions. Do not believe the lie that if you just love the person more, they will not act the way they do. If they are toxic, abusive, narcissistic, then get out of the relationship until they get help, even if they are family or close friends. God created us to be loved, not hurt.
Do not dwell on your mistakes and shortcomings. Worrying about your mistakes and shortcomings won’t change a thing. Trying, failing, and trying again is called learning. Be a life-long learner of how you can relate to people in better ways. Love yourself for who God created you to be, do what you can to relate well to others, and enjoy your life.
Jesus said, “therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Finally, worrying about other people won’t do a thing to change them or their circumstances. Envy and jealousy are also pointless in changing anything. Trust God for all the things that you cannot control and will never be able to control and get some sleep at night.
You have what it takes. God is with you. And we are here for you.
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